Say something about gay babies.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
