DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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