would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
