I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
You can't special order awesome
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Randomize
