I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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