Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
