How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Randomize