How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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