Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
