On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
