Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize