Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
