I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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