I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Randomize
