You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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