his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
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