I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
