i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
