im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
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i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
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Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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