I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
