so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
