just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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