So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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