I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
