Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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