He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Some milfs here doing some blow
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
You pole danced in your parka.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!