i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Randomize
