Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
The best revenge is premature balding
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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