it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
