I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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