So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize