Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
