Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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