Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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