Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
