so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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