pedialite and red bull = repair kit
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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