Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
