I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
