He is an equal opportunity slut.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Come see our sink grown plant.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
