Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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