im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
