ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
