Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
