god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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