a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize