People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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