last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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