I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
