She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
