omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I queefed so loud it echoed.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
