Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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