Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
