fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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