We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize