sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
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I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
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Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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