What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
