This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
