You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
